Our Social Life!

So, we don’t remember the last time we could count our friends (locally) so quickly, but here goes: 1) Gina (though, may give her just a half point for working so much), 2) Dirk, and 3) Vaughan. Okay, Dirk and Vaughan come together as a package so perhaps it is 1.5 friends in total. Oh, but wait! We were walking down Florida Road the other night to check out the bar/restaurant scene on a Saturday night (aka, watch other people enjoy socializing in group fashion)…and low and behold, the guy who works at the Internet cafe recognized us and said, “Hello.” I think that deserves another half point. So, 2. We may try to solidify the Internet guy’s friendship by making excuses to pay for Internet in the coming weeks. That’s better than zero! So far, one guy has responded to my ad about starting a book club. Actually, that is Lyndon who offered a nice reply on our blog. Anyway, I am still itching to go on a hike with a hiking club we found online. Just need a car first.

Despite the pity party just displayed, we did attend another braai night! Well, technically, it was (almost) at our house because Dirk and Vaughan hosted it. They had about 15 people over for dinner and drinks. We really enjoyed getting to know their friends and especially Vaughan’s parents who were visiting from the Eastern Cape. We have endless questions to ask about South Africa and they were kind enough to talk for some time with us. We hope to visit them on our long drive across the country to Cape Town in March. Anyway, the picture shows Dirk at the braai, proudly wearing his Jewish Yarmulke, also known as the chip basket, as he decides to be Jewish for the night. We really enjoyed ourselves and were even invited to Dirk’s birthday party and to watch a TV show tonight (which we did). They are really great.

On the neophyte-Americans-encountering-complicated-South-African-race-relations front, we continue to hear commentary in the most mundane, everyday sort of conversations on nearly every racial or ethnic groups one can think of, including Indians (vs. “Durban Indians,” for example), Native Americans, Zulus, and black South Africans in general, etc. Disclaimer: Read the above paragraph again to remember that our sample size is small, though we hear zingers in 30-second conversations with strangers as well. Anyway, however limited, our perception has been shaped by a fair amount of sweeping generalization, such as: Indian men are mean, or Zulu woman are strong (albeit nice, still a generalization). We have also now heard several disparaging comments about South African affirmative action… One person said “blacks should get over it (apartheid) and let it go.” And yet it is all so complex. We hear comments about guilt over and frustration with racism. We learn about black domestic workers with AIDS having their medical bill burden relieved by their white employers (who consider their “domestics” family)—this is awkward though too in the sense that so many people are so marginalized as to require the charity of wealthy whites to survive. And the whites tend to be wealthier why… well historically rooted structural racism is here as it is at home in the US. Maybe a South African-specific series akin to HBO’s “The Wire” should be produced and televised here—Durban, wunga (thanks to Lyndon for this insight—wunga is a South African narcotic that mixes antiretroviral medication and rat poison, among other chemicals), and structural violence. (Can you tell Chris wrote this part!)

On the extreme end of our encounters, I had probably the most interesting workout in my life when the trainer called black people, “baboons.” Once I figured out what he was talking about (naïve + he talks fast), I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with these terms. He went on and on about how black people have just as much opportunity for education and to be successful as anyone. They are “happy’ in the townships. Thankfully, the woman training with me disagreed with the trainer and so she provided opposing viewpoints. When she left, he commented that she was a friend and all…but, she is married to a rich guy and doesn’t know anything about the topic because she has never even seen a township. I told him that half the battle is recognizing our own white privilege. Anyway, he was really enjoying the conversation as he plopped me on a treadmill and hit run, standing beside me so we could continue to talk. I was hoping to get a break and listen to my iPod. Anyway, his desire to keep talking and listening was a positive thing, I guess.

On a side note, we have managed to get out of the apartment for a break from work. We have walked around the botanical garden, which was beautiful and relaxing. It was especially cool to see a lot of elegantly-dressed wedding parties taking photos in the lush greenery. Then, we went to the grocery store and perused the shelves finding new items to check out and potentially use to cook. On the recommendation of Dirk, we bought Afrikaner koeksisters, which are crispy, braided doughnuts dipped in the sweetest syrup imaginable. We are able to consume about 1 tiny koeksister per day each… We feel this diet is the equivalent of eating 10 bowls of Lucky Charms with Mountain Dew instead of milk. It seems like the South Africans just buy a few items several times a week vs. our big loads once a week in the states. So, we are trying to fit in and it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact we have plenty of time to spare.

We are also now outfitted with braai equipment as Dirk and Vaughan gave us their old Weber grill. We are charcoal grilling only (which is the “South African way,” we are told—gas grills are frowned upon) and using plenty of Portuguese Peri Peri sauce.

As for the search for a reliable used car, we’ll save those stories for our next blog…